Jeremiah

I'm free

"Don't grieve for me, for now I'm free
I'm following the path God laid for me,
I took His hand when I heard him call
I turned my back and left it all.

I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the close of the day.

If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared, a laugh, a kiss
Ah, yes, these things I too will miss.

Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full, I've savored much;
Family, good friends, good times, a loved one's touch.

Perhaps my time seemed all to brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief
Lift up your heart and share with me
God wanted me now. He set me free."

~Author Anonymous

Jeremiah Lee Ruffcorn
May 17, 1981 - October 20, 2010


Jeremiah was not only my cousin, he was my classmate and childhood playmate. He lived just a mile and a half from us, on the other side of Grandpa and Grandma Klindt. He was 3 months younger than me so we were an even match. We spent so much time together laughing over Garfield cartoons on the school bus, burying each other in leaves under Grandma's big oak, slathering clay on dams down at the creek, and riding with Grandpa and Grandma in the tractors at harvest. When Grandma passed away in January, I dug out a letter I had written years ago and reminisced about all my good memories with her. Jeremiah's passing reminded me that many of those memories were with him and Nicholas as well. Sledding in the fields, playing on the slip 'n slide, building forts, hanging out in the climbing tree, picking cherries, looking for baby kittens at the West Place, playing Dig Dug on the Atari, wrestling in Grandma's basement...and many more memories...it all encompassed him.

Years have passed and I've lived far away, so I didn't see or talk to Jeremiah much anymore. That doesn't change the fact he meant a lot to me and our family. Number one, he was my brother's best friend. They were a quiet pair, and a heck of a good team. They helped on the farm, hauling in wagons at harvest, seeing who could make it up the hill at the West Place and who would get stuck. They worked on their snowmobiles, tractors, and four-wheelers together, tearing things apart and doing their best to put them back together. Jeremiah's motto was if you can't tear it apart, just get a bigger power tool! They made quick trips to Atlantic or grabbed some Burger King. If you saw one, chances are you saw the other. Sometimes they even bickered....like brothers.

Jeremiah was a huge help to my parents on the farm. He LOVED lending a hand and took every opportunity he could. He often took vacation from his job so he could help during harvest. That might not have been everyone's choice for a "vacation" but there was nowhere else Jeremiah wanted to be but on a John Deere. My parents loved and respected their nephew. They often had him over for supper and always enjoyed his company. Mom and Dad have worried about his health lately, and wished they could help. Jeremiah's passing has been very hard on them.

Jeremiah was Grandpa's sidekick. Growing up, he was constantly up at the farm, following Grandpa around and helping him any way he could, and probably getting in the way sometimes too! Whenever we headed down to Grandpa's, we sort of assumed Jeremiah would be there. Grandpa shed a lot of tears this past weekend. This year weighs so heavy on his heart. But Jeremiah would have liked to know that after his funeral, Grandpa was back out on the farm, working the cattle. Farming makes Grandpa tick, and Jeremiah would not want it any other way.

Jeremiah was a wonderful son, brother, and uncle. He has two little nieces, Whitney and Danielle, that adored him, and are very confused as to why their Uncle had to go away. Whitney approached him many times during the visitation, just to make sure she didn't forget to say goodbye. At the cemetery, 3-year-old Danielle incessantly repeated, "I can't see Jeremiah's face; I want to see his face." Tears rolled down my cheeks as her mother Lisa sobbed and reassured her that they had pictures at home.

Uncle Ron and Aunt Charlene have leaned on each other throughout this difficult time. My heart breaks for them as I look at my sons, and think of all the memories they have of their own 2 little boys, playing, wrestling, arguing, hugging. They are grieving for themselves, but also for their son Nick's loss as well. They have many rough days ahead, and will need our support.

I think we all still wonder why. Just can't help it. Jeremiah passed away at his home and the autopsy has still not produced results. He has been feeling poorly for months, but everyone was still completely shocked by his death. It just isn't fair.

God knew we were unsettled about this. Through Reverend Dianna, He made a point to tell us that we were not there to ask why...we were there to celebrate the life he did have, and the time we did get with him. And we were there to celebrate the new life he has, walking with our Lord.

So, that's what we must all strive to do. Not ask the why, but to just hold memories and faith close. It's nice to know that our Grandma Klindt was there to greet him as well. And that's how she would have wanted it.

Jeremiah, you are missed. We'll miss your smile, your dry humor, your steadfast opinions, your work ethic, your love for John Deere, and your dedication to your family. Family gatherings won't be the same, but we know you're still with us, looking down on us. And probably watching us from a John Deere tractor. (As Rev Dianna said, God probably made you put it together first too!)

Uncle Ron and Aunt Charlene, Nick and Lisa, Whitney and Danielle, I hope you can feel the love and prayers coming your way. Jeremiah is still with you, and so are we.

Memorials in Jeremiah's honor will support the building fund of the new Altamont Baptist Church. Jeremiah was a very involved member and helped spearhead the project. They held the first service in the new church 4 days after he passed away. It was a fitting celebration, as this was his mission, and he saw it to fruition.

Thank you for all your prayers and kind words. Means a lot. It's been quite a year. Perhaps 2011 will be less eventful. I'd be okay with that.

Dear Cole

Dear Cole,

You're almost 15 months old so it's high-time I write you a letter before you are 15 YEARS old. I cherish what a wonderful little boy you are, and I don't want to forget all these amazing, special little things that make you YOU. (And my memory is terrible, so this letter is seriously necessary. I blame "Mommy" brain.)

First off, can I just say that you make me smile EVERY day?! You're such a fun kid and there's about a million reasons why.

EATING: You seem to have a love/hate relationship with milk. We took you to the doctor for your 1-year checkup, and I remember asking when to take the bottle away. At that point, you LOVED your bottle and even still woke up for a midnight snack (much to my disdain). Well, you soon took care of this dilemma for me. It was shortly after our 6-week trip from Iowa, when you were about 13 months old. I'm not sure if the travel and change had anything to do with it. I did try to get you to take a Vanilla Toddler Formula...perhaps you did not like that?! Whatever the case, you suddenly decided you did NOT want your bottle. I was sort of in shock at your sudden change of heart, and honestly I cannot even recall when exactly your last bottle was because it happened so abruptly. But you smacked the bottle away with such assurance that there really wasn't much room for negotiation. No matter what I put in the bottle, you did not want it. Instead, you insisted on drinking only water from a sippy cup, and if I tried to sneak milk in, you'd make a face at me and throw it.

This was one of your LAST bottles...boo!

Now at 15 months, you've decided milk is your friend again. You gulp down the entire sippy before I even realize it. You have started having an entire cup of milk at bed time also, so that makes Mommy very happy. Big high five for you. You drink water like a champ too. We have not given you juice yet, although I've seen you sneak some from Caden's sippy.

Caught red-handed


Food has been a roller coaster as well. You were such a good eater for the longest time. Then after you turned 1, you decided food wasn't really that much fun. You refused the oatmeal that Caden and I ate daily. You'd throw your head back and forth so fast I thought it was going to fly off. I'd hold down your arms while you screamed and force the food into your mouth. Sounds fun, huh. For a couple weeks, you only willingly agreed to eat buttered bread and noodles. Not exactly a balanced diet. I never really had this "picky" problem with Caden so I had to start getting creative. Daily food items I fall back on now include, flavored oatmeal, vegetable & fruit yogurt, cheese, and bread. You love pancakes and waffles. Favorite snacks include goldfish, Fruit Loops, and pretzels. Oh, and pretty much ANYTHING anyone else is eating. As soon as you "smell" food, you come cruising, making grunting noises like, "Hey, me too!"

Now, you are getting much better at eating meats. You like to pick up food and feed yourself, and have recently discovered silverware. You hand it to me, waiting for me to fill the spoon, then you take it, eat, and hand it back. So independent! You've also decided that it's fun to throw food, specifically at Mommy. And you have remarkably good aim for a 1-year-old.

When you're done eating, you yell at me, strain in your chair, arch your back, and throw your head back and forth. These signs are pretty vague so I can't really tell if you're done. Speaking of vague, when you're hungry, you also yell at me. And you stand by your highchair and try to climb in. I'm beginning to think the yelling is a "food" theme. When you're ready to eat, you are READY, and that's my cue that I'd better be ready too!

SLEEPING: Thank goodness you are finally sleeping through the night. You've never been one to sleep for long periods and I generally expect to get up at least once a night with you. I actually wasn't entirely disappointed when you gave up the bottle because that meant you wouldn't get up in the middle of the night anymore, right? Not exactly. You still occasionally wake up crying and stand holding the rails, waiting until I come. Sometimes you just want a hug. Sometimes you want some milk and to be rocked. Sometimes you want to play. I am not sure why you think playing at 4:30 am is a good idea. I certainly didn't teach you that. I try to get you to snuggle with me and go to sleep, but that results in fierce crying. To date, I have only gotten you to lay with me in bed willingly twice, and you had a fever over 100. Nope, Mommy's bed means PLAY TIME! I guess that's my fault for letting you and Caden wrestle on it. You two think it's WWF in there.

NAPPING: Inconsistent, but we're getting there. You are undecided as to if you still need 2 a day, or just 1. I never really know what to expect so we just play it by ear. I know you're ready when you start fussing and rubbing your eyes. Unfortunately, you are not given an option on Tuesdays and Thursdays because those are Caden's preschool mornings and we are always out and about. And sleeping in public is not your gig. You will sleep in the car seat and if I'm on my game, I can transfer you. There's no guarantee though. You're a light sleeper, much like your Mom. Whenever you wake up from naps, you stand at the crib rail until I come in. Then with a big smile, you plop yourself down and do a victory lap around the crib. You hand me your blue puppy blankie and outstretch your arms for me to pick you up. Soooo sweet!

BED TIME: Our normal routine is bath first, with brother. Generally you two get along great in the bath. Lots of playing and splashing. Lately you like to drink the soapy water, which is not encouraged. I usually get you out first and sit you in my lap and cuddle you up in the towel. You get the biggest kick out of this. Then you throw a fit when I lay you down and try to put your diaper on. I keep telling myself you'll get used to diaper changes at some point...but...um...you're 15 months and we're running out of time! After you have your PJ's on, I work on Caden and you just play in his room with his toys. Then we rock in your chair with your blue blankie, your sippy of milk, and your pacifier, and read 2 board books. Caden always makes sure you get 2, just like him. Caden sits on the floor next to us and reads quietly to himself. Then I just tuck you in, turn on your lullabies, and off to sleep you go. You're so easy with bed time. It's a breeze.



You love to be rocked


You are so darn cute Cole...and you look a lot like your Daddy in this picture

PERSONALITY: Boy, you have lots of it. Lately you are jabbering up a storm. I have no idea what you are saying, but I'm sure it's interesting. You point at things and raise your eyebrows and look at me for encouragement. You love to laugh lately. You even do this funny little exaggerated fake laugh when you're "making a joke" like grabbing my hair or smacking me, or playing a game. You have recently discovered tantrums. When it comes to food, or your brother taunting you, your patience is negative one. I'm beginning to think that all Geraghty boys have tempers! You're very inquisitive. You ALWAYS want to know what brother is doing, and what I'm doing. If a door opens, you can sense it from the other side of the house and come crawling as fast as possible, just so you don't miss out on any action.



You play ROUGH. I am 100% positive you'll be a football player or a wrestler. You headbutted for the longest time whenever I held you. I had to be prepared at any given moment to be knocked in the skull with an amazing amount of force. The tackling is out of control. In fact, I have never met any infant that likes to wrestle like you. And I say infant because you started doing it even before you were one. You reach your hands into the air and DIVE onto your brother, or other kids, or ME, completely unprovoked. That's the only wrestling move you know to date though, so your brother gets the upperhand quickly. He generally just lays perpendicular over top you and I have to make him get off when you start yelling. But then you get right up and dive onto him again.

And if you're not diving, you're swatting. "Swatty" is one of my nicknames for you and it's because you smack people like it's your job. I have no idea why, other than it seems to be a gesture of endearment. You smack hard though, generally right on the head, and you have a HUGE grin on your face like you're giving someone a present. Sometimes just your hand, but also toys or other miscellaneous objects. I keep waiting for that phase to pass. Between the headbutts and the swats, surely I've had multiple concussions by now. I always take your hand down and then stroke your head and say, "Just pats, Cole...nice pats..." Then you grin and smack me again. I'm glad you're catching on.

GAMES: You LOVE to play games. This is another reason I think you'll be an athlete. You are legitimately good at throwing things. I mean, a lot of kids try to throw a ball and it falls behind them or goes sideways. When you throw something, it goes straight forward, hard and fast. I am amazed at your dexterity. So playing ball is one of your favorites. You like to take every single available ball and stick it down the Ball Popper toy. Then you look at me wondering why it won't work. You also enjoy peek-a-boo. You put your hands on the sides of your cheeks and say "boo." It's too cute. You also love to be tickled and thrown on the couch. You'd allow me to do this forever if I was willing. You like to be pulled in circles in the wagon around the yard. I sometimes do speed intervals and you crack up every time. You hold the sides and rock back in forth, insisting I do it again.

Mom, it's jammed again. (Wonder who caused that.)


WALKING: Optional. At this point in time, you choose crawling as your primary mode of transportation. (Just FYI, this might hold you back from that athletic scholarship.) I know you CAN walk because you did it, at 13 1/2 months. I witnessed your first steps at a hotel room in Virginia Beach. You walked with such ease, not a single falter. I've seen you do it a couple times since, but not often. I try to lead you places with one hand, because if I do 2, you drag your feet and give up.

The fact of the matter is, you prefer crawling. You think you can get places faster that way, therefore it's more efficient, and therefore walking is unnecessary. You've been cruising along furniture easily and confidently for so long that I thought you'd be walking before your first birthday for sure. You climb up and down stairs with ease also...too much ease, actually! People seem to think kids should walk by age 1. Well, you're a strong kid, your legs work fine, and you'll walk when you want to. And you know what Cole...that's just fine with me! Who knows...maybe you are waiting for Daddy to come home to show him your trick?!



DOCTORS: It's amazing to me, but you don't cry. You don't seem to assume danger, nor do you put up a fight. You just go with the flow. Sure, shots aren't your fav, but your tears only last a minute and then you're fine. So no drama here! GOOD JOB COLE. So far, all your appointments have been uneventful and as of late, you're off the charts for height and mid-range for weight. Tall and lanky...now who do you get THAT from?!

DAYCARE: Since your Dad has been gone, I've needed occasional breaks in order to stay sane, and it's good for you and your brother to have time away from me also. I am allotted 16 hours a month of free respite daycare during the deployment. So each Wednesday morning, I take you to Kristi or Heidi (in-home daycare on base) for 4 hours while I go on a bike ride or tackle a house project. You show glimpses of separation anxiety now and then, but it's usually just when I show up, and you start crying and reaching for me. I also have a couple young college students come to the house while I go on long runs for my marathon training. You do absolutely wonderful with those sitters as well, and those runs are so therapeutic for me. Thank you Cole for being so easygoing and giving Mommy some alone time.

STROLLER: While we're on the running topic, let's talk strollin'. Since moving to Lejeune, I started a free running club called Stroller Warriors for military Moms that like to run. We get together every Tuesday morning and push you kiddos while we run for 40 minutes or so. I also run with you on Thursday mornings, and we go much further on those runs. I signed up for the Marine Corps Marathon, my first 26.2, and you've been along for a good chunk of the training.

Cole, you are such a champ in the jogger. You RARELY complain. In fact, I can only recall one time when you were legitimately annoyed, and that was at the tail-end of a 10-miler. And honestly, who would WANT to be in a stroller that long. So I am very appreciative of your tolerance, and I promise we won't do that often. (Preferably, never again, because pushing a stroller 10 miles is not easy!) I pushed you and Caden in a your first 5K this summer and will be sure to participate in more races with you before you're too old. You deserve the honor, after all. You put in a lot of time in that stroller. Thank goodness for BOB, the best stroller on the market. We love BOB, right Cole...



TOYS: You really enjoy the train set. You climb up onto the train table and sit there surrounded by tracks and trains. If I've set up a nice track, you waste no time ripping it apart. You love to push the trains across the drawbridge or through the echo tunnel. The sounds fascinate you and you talk to the trains as you play. When you're done on the table, you yell until I get you down. (There's that yelling again.) You also play with just about anything Caden has out. You love his trucks and cars. You make little vroom noises. You are recently enamored with the book shelf and especially the musical books. You do your adorable little dance move where you twist your body and shake one arm back and forth, like an Irish drinking song. Any toy with sound, you are drawn to. Perhaps you'll be musical like your Dad. He has an amazing voice and that's a trait I'd love to be passed down to you.

Standing on tables and partying, at such a young age?!


As for outdoor toys, you usually beeline it for the wagon and beg for a ride. You can spend quite a bit of time in the sandbox and be content. It's these moments when I'm able to do a little yard work, like mowing the lawn as fast as humanly possible. You also enjoy the infant swing and laugh at Caden as he gets underdogs.

Let's go, Mom...


VROOM...

I just love your expressions

Okay, now your favorite non-toy toys. First on the list...Mom's cell phone. You pretend like you're talking on it by putting it up to your ear and saying something inquisitive. You also slobber on it and change the settings so it's not really my favorite thing to let you play with. You also love to tear down all of Moms framed photos by the TV. They were brand new 6 months ago and now they look like they've been run over by a truck. The more I think about it, you're drawn to electronics in general. If it's not my phone, you're pressing buttons on the TV, the DVD player, and the remote control, powering down the computer, turning your fan on and off, or finding some other coveted activity. The fireplace is a recent attraction that reminds me I need to get out the ShopVac. You also get a kick out of mirrors. You put your face all the way up to it and talk to yourself. It's hilarious.

Exhibit A: Messing with the TV while knocking down my frames, an hourly ritual.


WORDS: Your first word was definitely "Mom." Ahhhh. Thanks buddy! You also say "yes," and "Daddy." "Nah nah" is your word for "give me food." I don't think there are any other defined words but you are definitely talking a lot more so I'm sure more and more words will develop soon. You have been saying "yes" for a long time and when you do, you shake your head sideways and get very happy and calm. It's so cute! I'm relieved you haven't learned "no" because "yes" is so much more pleasant for all parties involved.

BROTHER: Well, it's no secret. You love your brother. When I bring you downstairs every morning, I point to Caden downstairs on the couch and say, "There's brother!" You get the biggest grin on your face and watch him every single step on the way down. When I set you down next to him, you dive onto him or sit right next to him, just looking at him adoringly. Caden loves you quite a lot too. He says, "Hi Cole" with a big grin.

But with the brotherly love comes some rivalry as well. Caden has still not totally accepted you as a playmate and does not like you getting "up in his business." Any time you try to take one of his toys, either you get a smack or push or Caden just picks up everything and moves locations. I try to work with Cade on that constantly but it's hard to convey to a 3-year-old his responsibilities as big brother. And you certainly don't understand sharing yet. You do quite a bit of crying as a result and Caden does his minutes in timeout.

At least you do indeed play together! Caden even asks me sometimes if you can come play with him upstairs, outside, etc. He also always wants to know where you're at if you're napping. "Mom, where's Cole?" And if you're not happy, he lets me know it. The other night, we were at a friends house and a little boy was not cooperating with you. Caden swatted at him and when we asked what was wrong, he frowned, pointed at the boy accusingly, and stated indiginantly, "He's being mean to MY BROTHER." I was secretly proud of that in terms of his protective instincts. I so much want for you and Caden to be close to each other. It's vital for family to stick together no matter our differences or disagreements. So always remember that he's your brother, and he loves you, just as you love him. You two sure do have a lot of fun together already, wrestling, playing in the driveway, taking baths, or reading stories. We'll continue to encourage and nourture that love, and I pray that it will last a lifetime.

Don't be fooled...this cuddle time only lasted 5 seconds.


Your favorite brotherly past time, by far: WRESTLING


This is Daddy's favorite picture of you two

DADDY: Cole, your Dad really misses you, and that's an understatement. He has not been able to be around you much this year at all. We are so thankful he was here when you were born, and for the most part, your first 6 months. However, in January he tackled workups for his deployment and needed to be away a lot. He left for Afghanistan in May, when you were almost 10 months old, and has been gone 5 months. I try to keep your Dad very involved in our lives, through Webcamming, talking about him, showing you photos, playing his lullaby CD for you, or encouraging you to say "Daddy." When you see him on Webcam, you get so excited, usually giggling and throwing a toy. So I am sure you know him and I have no doubt you'll bond easily when he gets home.

But I will say that your Dad and I are very sorry that you had to sacrafice so much at a young age. We do not give you a choice in this matter and we just hope that you understand why. Your Dad has a very important job and we are lucky to be able to support him and this cause. Regardless, your Dad has frequently expressed his feelings of guilt for not being here for you. He wrote you an amazing letter for your 1st birthday and felt much sadness over missing your special day. We just hope you are able to accept these facts of life someday and forgive us for anything hardship we have put you through.

Colebug, you're an amazing little boy and you mean so much to us. Thank you for being you. I love you a million times over, and so does your Dad, and so does your brother. Our lives would not be the same without you.

I hope you liked your letter. I'll write you again. :)

Love, Mom

This pic says it all...I adore you. :)